Everyone has a story…. My Pastor preached on this, and it moved me so much I had to write about it. He said that there is power in your story. It made me think of my story and the ups and downs, and how much I’ve been through. We all want to share the good parts, and maybe a little of the bad parts, but no one wants to share the REALLY bad stuff that we’re ashamed to speak of out loud even to our closest friends and family. I decided to share a bit of my story.
I’ll start with what the plan was supposed to be. Go to college, start a public relations firm, be a millionaire before I was 30, all while getting married and having kids(I wanted to be done having kids before I was 30 as well), and have the perfect life. No issues of course. Well, of course life is not perfect and it’s not always what we anticipate. This is not the whole story…but you'll get the picture.
Here’s what actually happened. I went to college for a couple years until my parents couldn’t afford it anymore, I moved back home and got a job. Got engaged to my high school sweetheart, we got married by a judge. I had my daughter at 23 and we were separated by our first anniversary. Um…. That was not the plan! Life was supposed to be great after getting married. What was happening? We reconciled and bought a house and had 2 more babies. Life was getting back on track. Or so I thought. We had another major issue that almost cost us everything. But we were both raised Catholic and you don’t get divorced, so I stayed. I was too embarrassed to share my story with anyone so I was miserable all by myself. I kept it all inside and tried to deal the best I could. When I look back at what I went through it was truly by the grace of God and a miracle that I’m here today. We ended up deciding to move to Nashville to attempt to “escape” the issues and we did for a little while, but the issues came back. So after 17 years of marriage and 24 years of being together, I ended it. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. Telling my children that everything they’ve ever known was no more was more devastating than I can ever describe. I had literally spent over half of my life with this man, and it was over. So here I was 38 years old, and a single mom of 3. No public relations firm, no millionaire, and no husband. That was not the plan!! To say I was terrified was an understatement. I had made so many mistakes!! The biggest mistake I made was not being in church anymore. I had gone a few times with friends, but I was in such a bad place that I didn’t even feel right being in church. So I stopped going. That was a big mistake. Instead of running from God I should have been running to Him. Eventually I went back to church, and honestly I was just going through the motions. I did not have a true relationship with God. Then I visited the church I currently attend. I can honestly say that I would not be where I am today if I had not gone to this church. I developed a true relationship with God. His grace, mercy and love have completely saved me. He’s helped me heal, and be able to begin again. Learning to let God be the author and not try and write my own story was another struggle. Eventually I did and He’s not done writing…. But the pen is in his hand.
